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    Where imperfections are perfect and flaws are flawless

    Boy bullied

    Q&A with Dr. Debbie

    There is often a misconception that bullying, anxiety, eating disorders and depression stand on their own. Suicide is often looked at like it’s simply a ‘mental illness’ without people realizing all these things trigger one another.

    1. In your experience what are the short term effect of bullying?

    The immediate effects are usually a disruption in emotions, anger, and depression. Sometimes the individual even withdraws from their usual behaviors, environment or daily activities.

    What are the long term effects?

    Long term would be the anger that a person has a difficult time expressing—can be turned inside with bad behavior as well, depression, drugs, food—a simple but destructive change in pattern that we often don’t understand WHY …

    2. Do you find that people, who were bullied as children, carry those thoughts and emotions over into adult life?

    Some do, and not in the ways we would think, some people don’t get MAD or EVEN, they become the opposite—pleasers, afraid to make anyone angry, and that can be a negative in itself—when we are afraid to be who we are, we are suffering on the inside. Others are just that MAD and start bullying towards others since they feelings are now safe to act on others. What was done to me I can do to them!!

    3. What are some of the triggers that victims of bullying carry over into their work, relationships and beliefs of self-worth and how they value themselves?

    ANYTHING that makes them feel (real or not) that they are being picked on, a loud voice, an action for someone and not them (like a raise, extra time off) Triggers can be anything that makes us feel different. Relationships can be either as if the person has a chip on their shoulder—don’t tell me what to do attitude, or the opposite, not feeling worthy and putting up with things they shouldn’t.

    4. Is there a certain common pattern that bullying, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and suicide generally take follow?

    I don’t know if there is a pattern, but what I recognize when doing counseling is that there is something hidden , something that a therapist would interpret as an underlying reason, not the ordinary situation, but more personal has happened and yes it can manifest or turn into something bigger, or different, such as Eating disorders to hide pain –stuffing their feelings, or opposite restricting YOU CAN’T MAKE ME— anxiety for sure—afraid of anything or anyone –and self-harm or suicide the absolute worst scenario—when feeling worthless, or helpless to change the situation—clinical depression.

    5. In your experience in treating and talking to the ‘bullies’; is there a common trait they share? (Insecurities, abuse, etc.?)

    The most common would be that this was normal in their own lives, or they were encouraged to stand up for themselves or they would be considered the WIMP the WUSS or any unflattering demeaning term. Bullies are often molded in their environment, blind to what is happening.

    6. Do the ‘bullies’ ever hold on to guilt or other emotions throughout their life?

    WELLLLL, I’m sure some do, some don’t, some feel justified for their behavior, others that are more introspective will for sure see the reason behind their actions and have great remorse –everyone is different.

    I am energetic, and direct while empathic and compassionate of your situation. Discussing the problems you are experiencing in your life with me can provide an alternative perspective, allowing us to discover appropriate and healthy ways to resolve the troubles you are having. I practice from a strengths based, holistic (mind body) therapy model and believe in empowering clients to become their own agents of change. I feel it is important to be goal oriented in our work together.

    Qualifications Include:

    Graduated Cal-State as a Sociology Major

    Graduated Regis University with Masters of Psychology

    Received Doctorate in Naturopathy from Clayton College of Natural Health

    Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

    Certified Wellness Counselor

    Specialties Include:

    Relationship Issues, Divorce

    Addictions or Substance Abuse

    Personal Growth and Wellness

    Women’s Issues/Men’s Issues

    Depression, Anxiety or Fears

    Adolescent Issues

    Gay/Lesbian Issues

    Trauma and PTSD

    Personality Disorders

    Life Transitions