I am worthy. I am deserving. I am beautiful.
I am ugly. I do not like myself.
How do you feel about yourself?
What we tell ourselves, has a huge impact on how we see, value and love ourselves.
What is self-esteem?
Self Esteem is how we see and value ourselves. We all believe and feel certain ways about ourselves. Self-esteem is something we all have, yet it can change frequently based on what is going on in our day to day life. We can feel great about ourselves one day, negative about ourselves the next day and the constant battle between the two.
There are many factors that can contribute to how we feel about ourselves. Most of the time, they are outside factors that truly have nothing to do with who we are as a person. Yet, we allow these outside opinions and comments to change how we feel about OURSELVES. It could be a breakup, failing a test, not making that sports team, not getting the job you wanted, losing a friend, that guy or girl not liking you back, or comparing yourself to what you see in others.
Every one of us has been there- We have all had that amazing outfit, haircut, hair style, shoes or something that makes us feel confident. And then someone makes a negative comment, says their (opposite) opinion or gives a weird look. Now, that thing that made us feel so confident turns to self-doubt. Sure, it can be hard to always ignore every comment, opinion and dirty side eye, but it is essential to understand- this is not a reflection of you. Just because someone says something about your clothes, hair, job, shoes, choices, friends, way of life- or anything for that matter, does not make it true.
Unfortunately, people will always make comments, judgments and try to bring you down, no matter how amazing you are or how great you are doing. It’s often out of jealousy. That outfit you’re wearing that is so awesome, someone may tell you that it’s ugly, just to try to bring you down. That accomplishment you are so excited about, that someone just made fun of you for… That is a reflection of their insecurity, not your success.
It is your personal duty, to yourself, to not allow this. We cannot control the things other people say or the way they behave, but we can CHOOSE how we accept things.
Do not accept anything about yourself that does not inspire you and your journey to be great.
Feeling comfortable, confident and happy in your own skin is such a freeing, amazing and happy feeling. Do not allow anyone to take that away from you. If it makes YOU feel amazing, you rock it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Wearing confidence is more attractive than any trend or style, but it has nothing to do with what you are wearing, what you look like or what you have.
True self esteem has everything to do with what you can’t buy or wear. It is about who you are as a person.
Although all these outside factors can cause us to feel a certain way about ourselves, it is important to remember that all these exterior factors, are just that- exterior. Weight can be gained and lost, hair can come and go, looks can change… But who you are on the inside is what will always shine through those changes.
How does self-esteem affect our lives?
The way you view and value yourself will impact every part of your life. WE ARE ALL WORTHY of everything we desire, but we have to believe and see our worth first. If you don’t feel like you are worthy of success; you could easily settle for less than your dreams, whether that be a job you don’t want or not going after your life long dreams. If you feel you aren’t worthy of a healthy, loving, loyal and lasting relationship; you are more likely to be with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve; Because you are subconsciously telling yourself you don’t deserve to be treated amazing. This can also affect your belief of what you can accomplish in the future. Having low self-esteem can have many negative life impacts. If you have low self-esteem, please know UR not alone. It is a daily journey for everyone to see the best in themselves, but it is also necessary to realize how important this journey is.
Three Faces of Low Self-Esteem.
Low self-esteem is not always easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear:
- The Imposter: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be found out. Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.
- The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others especially people who are important or powerful don’t matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling good enough. Continuously needs to prove that others’ judgments and criticisms don’t hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or opposing authority.
- The Victim: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks repeatedly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as unassertiveness, underachievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.
Consequences of Low Self-Esteem.
Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences. It can:
- create anxiety, stress, loneliness, and increased likelihood of depression
- cause problems with friendships and romantic relationships
- seriously impair academic and job performance
- lead to increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse
Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly unproductive or even actively self-destructive behavior. (Three Faces of Low Self Esteem)
Every day you wake up, remind yourself all the amazing things about yourself. When you look in the mirror, focus on your beauty, not flaws. We all have flaws, as we are imperfectly perfect.
UR deserving of everything you desire! UR beautiful, handsome, strong, unique and amazing.