Since Payton was born, I knew that there was something different about her, something very unique.
She did not walk or talk until she was 24 months. At 18 months we found out that she needed to start wearing corrective lenses because of her vision and on top of that – sensory integration disorder, mild autism and Pica (a low iron deficiency that causes her to eat nonfood items, such as soap, dirt, rocks etc.)
She spent the first four years of her life going through speech therapy, doctors always sticking her with needles, surgeries for her eyes and being in special classes while in school for her Learning disability until age 9.
One day I had enough of people treating her as if she was handicap.
I decided to put her in normal classes with the other children because I did not want her to feel as if she could not be capable of reaching the same goals as a normal student.
Now she is 10 years old and we were told that she has Tourette’s. (It’s not as bad as one that would have loud outbursts.) She tends to make noises, like sniffling and clearing her throat with a hum afterword’s and purrs like a cat when she gets nervous. She still eats strange things sometimes such as Germ x and under arm deodorant.
The teachers like to label her as a disruptive troubled child. (I get phone calls on a daily basis letting me know how Payton is disrupting the class and has to be moved to different areas of the classroom.)
The adults treat her differently and call her horrible names.
She also has to take medication for her ADHD. She comes home crying asking me why can’t she be pretty like the other little girls and why did God make her this away? The little boys call her “four eyes” and tell her maybe if she was pretty she would have more friends. She chooses to stay in her room a lot and sleep. She acts up in class (class clown) and doesn’t do her work often. She thinks if she is like this she will get more attention.
My daughter suffers from depression. She stays in her room and hates to eat because she thinks she is fat. We already have had issues with her being bulimic.
One of the kids from school told her that she needed to be bulimic and told her how to do it.
We have addressed this to the teachers and to the school and the only response that I have gotten from them is that: kids are cruel and she gets the blame for being bad because of her ADHD.
It has come to the point where I want to pull Payton out of school and homeschool her.
I tell her that one day the glasses will come off and she will wear contacts. I tell her even Disney princesses wore really thick glasses when they were little and now that they are older they have contacts. She has one best friend that she no longer goes to school with since we moved. She is lonely. Her little best friend was always there for her, to stick up for her and never teased her.
Payton no longer wants to go to school, she often says she is sick or calls to come home in the middle of the day.
My heart hurts for her, never knowing what I can say or do to make her feel better about the situation. I tell her that she does not go to school to make friends, but to get her education because that is the main thing she will be able to carry with her in life. She is not alone because she has me. (and so many people she doesn’t realize.)
Her being different is the most awesome thing she can be.
She is so amazingly beautiful, smart and funny.
She wants to be a hairdresser & singer.
I could go on and on about how wonderful she is…
But she doesn’t see it.
She smiles and keeps praying that one day the children will stop bullying her and get to know her. She has learned to cope with it, day by day.
I put up little post it notes telling her how awesome she is!
She now likes who she sees in the mirror!
My life without her would just be plain and boring.